Haggis Humper

My cousin tried to wear jeans to the clan meeting. He got tossed out and called a 'half-baked haggis humper.'

At the pub, he challenged a guy from Glasgow to a duel over who had the best scotch. It was just two guys yelling at each other.

He tried to explain haggis to a kid. The kid asked, 'Why do you eat sheep guts?' He said, 'You don't question the haggis humper.'

He walked into the restaurant and said, 'I'm here for the haggis.' The waiter said, 'That's for the haggis humper.' He said, 'Then bring it.'

He tried to flirt with my sister. She said, 'I'm not your type.' He said, 'Your type is haggis.'

He took one bite of the haggis and said, 'This is the best thing I've ever eaten.' Then he threw it at a kid.

He walked into the restaurant and said, 'I'm here for the haggis.' The waiter said, 'That's for the haggis humper.' He said, 'Then bring it.'

He tried to flirt with my sister. She said, 'I'm not your type.' He said, 'Your type is haggis.'

He took one bite of the haggis and said, 'This is the best thing I've ever eaten.' Then he threw it at a kid.

He came to my house for breakfast. I asked, 'What do you want?' He said, 'Haggis. And don't give me toast.'

He brought haggis to my birthday party. I said, 'Why?' He said, 'Because you're a haggis humper.'

He ate haggis in front of my mom. She said, 'That's not food.' He said, 'It's not for you.'

He walked into the room like he owned it. I said, 'You look like a king.' He said, 'I am.'

He tried to rule the breakfast table. I said, 'You're not the king of this table.' He said, 'I will be.'

He tried to wear a crown at the pub. The bartender said, 'You're not king here.' He said, 'I will be.'

He ate haggis and then said, 'Now, I'm going to eat your face.'

He took a bite of haggis and said, 'Now, I'm going to eat your face.'

He finished his haggis and said, 'Now, I'm going to eat your face.'