Gadwig
He’s a god with a huge ear. He shits on bitches and fucks them when he feels like it. He’s got more power than a wizard who’s been pooping gold for 100 years.
Gadwig don’t need no magic. He just yells and the ground cracks open.
I saw him once. He was eating a chicken and it was still alive.
He’s got a cock so big, it could punch a hole in the sky.