I was eating a sandwich when my girlfriend ran off with G-Sizzle Mc-Dizzle. I'm still eating that sandwich.

He winked at my girlfriend, and now she's texting me "I'm with the man who makes me feel like a million bucks."

I tried to propose to my girlfriend, but she said she saw G-Sizzle Mc-Dizzle and now I'm just the guy who brought the cake.