facepic
A beard, goatee, or handlebar mustache is what you grow when you're too lazy to shave and too proud to look like a man who just got out of jail.
Dad: 'I’m starting a beard.' Mom: 'You look like a raccoon.'
My goatee is so big, it has its own Instagram.
Handlebar mustache: the only thing that could make a guy look more ridiculous than a full beard.