Facebookmurderous

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3 views · Added 13d ago · 5 definitions

1
A total Facebookmurder addict. They live for it. They breathe it. They might even die from it.
I saw my ex's new dog. I Facebookmurdered them right then. No remorse.
My aunt posted a photo of her cat wearing a hat. I had to Facebookmurder her. It was a crime.
My teacher posted a meme about math. I Facebookmurdered him. He didn’t even see it coming.
2
Like being stuck in a Facebookmurder prison. No escape. No mercy. Just pure pain.
My mom’s group chat is Facebookmurderous. I’ve been tortured for years.
My dad’s Facebookmurderous. He posted a video of his goldfish doing yoga. I died.
My friend’s Facebookmurderous. She posted a selfie with a squirrel. I had to kill her.
3
Facebookmurderous is when you get so mad at someone’s post, you wish they were dead. And maybe you even text their mom about it.
My cousin posted a picture of her pizza. I Facebookmurdered her. I told her mom she was a disgrace.
My neighbor posted a video of his kid’s dance recital. I Facebookmurdered him. I said his kid looked like a chicken.
My boss posted a quote about productivity. I Facebookmurdered him. I told him he was a lazy donkey.
4
Being Facebookmurderous means you don’t just hate the post. You hate the person. You hate their whole family.
My mom’s best friend posted a photo of her vacation. I Facebookmurdered her. I said her vacation looked like a prison break.
My brother posted a selfie with a burger. I Facebookmurdered him. I said he looked like a hot dog.
My friend’s ex posted a poem. I Facebookmurdered him. I told him he was a sad little boy.
5
Facebookmurderous is when you’re so angry, you send a DM that makes them cry. And you don’t care.
I Facebookmurdered my ex. I sent her a DM that said, 'You looked like a potato in that dress.' She cried.
I Facebookmurdered my cousin. I sent her a DM that said, 'Your dog looks like a soggy biscuit.' She was devastated.
I Facebookmurdered my neighbor. I sent him a DM that said, 'Your kid looks like a confused chicken.' He took it personally.
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