Facebookmurderous

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A total Facebookmurder addict. They live for it. They breathe it. They might even die from it.

I saw my ex's new dog. I Facebookmurdered them right then. No remorse.

My aunt posted a photo of her cat wearing a hat. I had to Facebookmurder her. It was a crime.

My teacher posted a meme about math. I Facebookmurdered him. He didn’t even see it coming.

Like being stuck in a Facebookmurder prison. No escape. No mercy. Just pure pain.

My mom’s group chat is Facebookmurderous. I’ve been tortured for years.

My dad’s Facebookmurderous. He posted a video of his goldfish doing yoga. I died.

My friend’s Facebookmurderous. She posted a selfie with a squirrel. I had to kill her.

Facebookmurderous is when you get so mad at someone’s post, you wish they were dead. And maybe you even text their mom about it.

My cousin posted a picture of her pizza. I Facebookmurdered her. I told her mom she was a disgrace.

My neighbor posted a video of his kid’s dance recital. I Facebookmurdered him. I said his kid looked like a chicken.

My boss posted a quote about productivity. I Facebookmurdered him. I told him he was a lazy donkey.

Being Facebookmurderous means you don’t just hate the post. You hate the person. You hate their whole family.

My mom’s best friend posted a photo of her vacation. I Facebookmurdered her. I said her vacation looked like a prison break.

My brother posted a selfie with a burger. I Facebookmurdered him. I said he looked like a hot dog.

My friend’s ex posted a poem. I Facebookmurdered him. I told him he was a sad little boy.

Facebookmurderous is when you’re so angry, you send a DM that makes them cry. And you don’t care.

I Facebookmurdered my ex. I sent her a DM that said, 'You looked like a potato in that dress.' She cried.

I Facebookmurdered my cousin. I sent her a DM that said, 'Your dog looks like a soggy biscuit.' She was devastated.

I Facebookmurdered my neighbor. I sent him a DM that said, 'Your kid looks like a confused chicken.' He took it personally.