facebook stoic - A person who has a Facebook account, but only uses it to che

A person who has a Facebook account, but only uses it to check if their ex is still alive.

I check Facebook once a year to see if my ex is still single. He’s not. He has 3 kids now.

I log into Facebook just to see if my ex is still posting selfies. He’s not. He’s posting pictures of his dog.

My only reason to have Facebook is to see if my ex is still alive. He’s not. He’s dead.