facebook stoic

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A person who has a Facebook account just to make their parents happy, but never posts, likes, or even logs in.

My mom signed me up for Facebook so she could stalk my cousins. I’ve never posted anything in my life.

I have a Facebook account. It’s been 5 years since I last used it. My password is still ‘password’.

My dad keeps telling me to update my Facebook. I don’t even know what that means.

Someone who has a Facebook profile, but it’s so outdated it looks like a ghost wrote it.

My Facebook profile says I’m still in 7th grade. I graduated 8 years ago.

My Facebook status is still from 2015. It says ‘I love pizza’ and that’s it.

My Facebook picture is from 2012. I’ve grown a beard since then.

A person who has a Facebook account, but only uses it to check if their ex is still alive.

I check Facebook once a year to see if my ex is still single. He’s not. He has 3 kids now.

I log into Facebook just to see if my ex is still posting selfies. He’s not. He’s posting pictures of his dog.

My only reason to have Facebook is to see if my ex is still alive. He’s not. He’s dead.

A person who has a Facebook account, but it’s like they forgot they had one.

I had a Facebook account. I forgot about it. Now it’s just a reminder that I exist.

I had a Facebook account. I don’t remember the password. My mom does.

I have a Facebook account. I didn’t know until my friend told me. I’m 23.

A person who has a Facebook account, but only uses it when their friends beg them to.

My friend begged me to post a photo. I did it. Now I regret it.

I only use Facebook when my cousin asks me to tag her in a photo. I hate it.

My friend said I’d die if I didn’t use Facebook. I’m still alive.

A person who has a Facebook account, but it’s like they hate it and everyone on it.

I have a Facebook account. I hate it. I hate my friends. I hate my life.

I have Facebook. I use it once. I hate it forever.

I have a Facebook account. I post once. I never use it again. I hate it.