Facebook Sportscaster
A person who uses Facebook like it's a sports channel and they're the only one who gets it.
'He’s the best player! I’ve never seen someone so good!' (He had a drink in his hand.)
'He’s a f***ing idiot! He missed the goal!' (He’s not even at the game.)
'That was a perfect goal! I’ve never seen anything like it!' (He’s still in elementary school.)