Facebook Social Distortion Disorder (FSDD)
A mental problem where your friends and family think you're dead if you're not on Facebook. They stop texting you unless you’re flooding their timeline with nonsense.
Your sister says, 'You’re not even alive anymore.'
Your friend sends you a message: 'You're like a dead person.'
Your uncle asks, 'Is this you?' and you say 'No, that's my Facebook profile.'