Facebook Hampster
The Facebook Hamster is a friend who’s always there, but never actually there. They scroll your feed like it's their main job, but when you try to talk to them, they're too busy living their own life and ignoring you.
You message them about a party. They reply with a photo of their meal.
You post a new pet. They like it. Then they vanish for a month.
You tag them in a post. They like it. Then they don’t reply for two weeks.