Eating salad

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7 views · Added 17d ago · 6 definitions

1
Eating salad is when you kiss someone like a damn movie star, and you get a little flirty, but you don’t go too far (like touching legs or making tiny squeaks when you pull away to breathe).
My mom and dad were eating salad for 20 minutes in the kitchen. I had to leave before I got a nosebleed.
My crush and I were eating salad, and I accidentally bit my tongue. He laughed and said I was cute.
My sister was eating salad with her boyfriend, and I walked in and they stopped. I’m still mad.
2
Eat the salad is a phrase only a sweaty, bald man in a suit would use. It means 'swallow my old, smelly pubes when you suck my cock.'
My dad said, 'Eat the salad!' to my uncle. My uncle threw a napkin at him.
My boss said, 'Eat the salad,' and I had to go eat a salad in the bathroom.
My brother said, 'Eat the salad!' to his ex, and she called the cops.
3
Next time, go eat a salad is what you say to a fat kid who eats garbage all day. It’s a slap in the face.
My teacher said, 'Next time, go eat a salad!' to my friend. He cried.
My cousin said, 'Next time, go eat a salad!' to my little brother. He threw a juice box at him.
My mom said, 'Next time, go eat a salad!' to me. I ate a whole pizza.
4
Eating salad is when you lose your cherry. It’s like your first time doing something really big.
My friend said he ate salad and lost his cherry. He cried.
My little brother said he ate salad and lost his cherry. He threw a tantrum.
My crush said she ate salad and lost her cherry. I felt bad.
5
Eating salad is what you do when you date a girl who sits there, orders a salad, and doesn’t say anything. It’s the worst.
My date ordered a salad and didn’t say a word. I felt like I was talking to a brick wall.
My girlfriend eats salad and says nothing. I want to scream.
My friend dated a salad-eater and broke up with her. He said she was a wall.
6
Eating salad is when you stick your face in your own butt and chew it like it’s a goddamn meal.
My dog ate salad and I had to clean his face. It was gross.
My little brother ate salad and got a face full of butt. I laughed.
My dad ate salad and said it tasted like old socks.
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