Eathan Philips
a godlike figure who drops in at your school to tell you how amazing Cali is, his stupid birthplace.
He came to my science class and said, 'Cali is the only state that matters.'
He texted my friend: 'Cali is better than your life. Also, your science project is bad.'
He stood on the football field and cursed the opposing team for not being from Cali.