East coast winter cold
A brutal freeze that turns New Englanders into grumpy, shivering meat sacks who blame everyone else for their suffering.
My mom texted me: 'I can't feel my toes. I think I'm dying. Also, you're a failure.'
My neighbor tried to walk his dog and fell into a snowbank. He now lives there.
My cousin called me at 2 a. m. and cried about his frozen pizza.