earthen mother
An earthen mother is a person who thinks microwaves are evil and will yell at you if you use one. They live in a nest of rhododendrons and think the snare drum is the only thing that understands them.
"I used a microwave. My mother yelled at me like I stole her lunch.", @MicrowaveEnemy
"I live in a rhododendron. It’s cozy, but my neighbors are loud.", @NestOfRho
"My snare drum is my best friend. It doesn’t judge me.", @SnareDrum