Earth Sports

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Any outdoor activity that doesn't involve a team or a coach. It's just you and your dumb ass fighting nature.

I ran five miles and my legs looked like they were on fire. Nature's a real cocky motherfucker.

I tried mountain biking and my bike broke. I walked like a man who just got divorced.

I swam in a lake and got bit by a fish. That fish had a grudge.

Outdoor stuff you do alone because you don't have friends. Like running, biking, or drowning in a lake.

I went skiing and fell. My face is now a pancake. Nature laughs at me.

I fished for three hours and caught nothing. My patience is dead.

I snowboarded and broke my ankle. Now I'm stuck in a ditch with my dumb ass.

Stuff you do outside when you're too lazy to play with other people. Running, swimming, or getting chased by a bear.

I went running and my lungs felt like they were on fire. I ran like a man who just got yelled at by his mom.

I went swimming and got hypothermia. I looked like a frozen chicken.

I went hunting and got lost. My dog is now my only friend.

Outdoor activities you do when you don’t want to deal with people. It’s like running, skiing, or fighting a fish.

I tried mountain biking and fell off a cliff. My ass is now a legend.

I went swimming and got bit by a jellyfish. I looked like a punchbag.

I went fishing and my rod broke. I caught nothing but my own stupidity.

Stuff you do outside when you're too stupid to play with others. Running, skiing, or getting eaten by a bear.

I ran a marathon and my feet looked like they were on fire. I ran like a man who just got yelled at by a bear.

I went skiing and broke my leg. I now walk like a drunk man.

I went hunting and got chased by a bear. I ran like a man who just got divorced.