earth sex
A man so desperate he thinks the ground is a hot girl and tries to make her wet just by sticking his willy in the mud.
My uncle did earth sex on a rainy day. He came inside and smelled like wet dirt and regret.
A guy tried earth sex in the park. The kids laughed so hard, one of them fell off the swing.
He did earth sex in the middle of the highway. The cops thought he was high.