earphone phaker
A person who puts on earphones like they’re the president, but they’re really listening to your conversations and thinking you're totally clueless.
He had earphones on like he was the president, but he was listening to my friend talk about my weird crush.
She had her earphones on and was thinking 'this guy is a total dork' while I was talking about my job.
He had earphones on and was eavesdropping on my friend's terrible life choices.