e-pissed

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trying to win a bid on eBay while so wasted you think the moon is made of glitter and your socks are talking to you.

I bid $500 for a toaster that looks like a cat. My socks said it was a bad idea.

I bid on a chair and forgot I had a mortgage. My mom called me a genius.

I bid on a lamp, then cried because I thought it was a unicorn.

you’re drunk, you’re desperate, and you’ll pay any price just to prove you’re not a total failure.

I paid $1,000 for a rubber chicken. My ex called me a chicken.

I bid on a spoon and it felt like a victory.

I paid for a painting that looked like my uncle’s face. He called me a genius.

you bid on eBay so hard you think you’re fighting a war, and the next day you’re just sad you didn’t win.

I bid $200 on a hat. The hat looked like it was crying.

I fought a war for a blender. I lost.

I bid on a book and it turned out to be a dictionary. I cried.