Dagflib

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4 views · Added 15d ago · 6 definitions

A guy who thinks he’s the king of the jungle but can’t even order a burger without making a fool of himself on Tinder.

He asked me if I wanted fries with my burger and said 'I like mine extra crispy' like it was a secret code.

He tried to flirt with me by saying 'I’m a beast in the wild' and then spilled his soda on his shirt.

He asked me if I wanted to go to the zoo and said 'I’m like the lion, I roar and I’m fierce' and then tripped over his own shoelace.

A man who thinks he’s a rock star but can’t even remember his own name during a date.

He told me his name was 'Dagflib' and then forgot it five minutes later.

He tried to sing me a song and ended up humming it like he was a dog with a bad tooth.

He asked me to guess his favorite color and said 'It’s like the sky after a nuclear explosion' and then said it was blue.

A guy who thinks he’s a superhero but can’t even tie his shoes without looking like a fool.

He tried to do a cool guy wave and ended up waving like he was trying to beckon a ghost.

He told me he had a 'super power' and it was 'being able to tell the time' and he got it wrong.

He said he had 'a plan' to impress me and it was 'I’ll just sit here and stare at my phone' and he did it for 20 minutes.

A guy who thinks he’s a genius but can’t even remember what he said five minutes ago.

He told me he was a 'math wizard' and then couldn’t add 2+2 without looking it up on his phone.

He said he had a 'cool story' and it was about his pet goldfish and how it got lost in the toilet.

He tried to impress me by saying he had a 'dream job' and it was 'working at the local pizza place' and he still didn’t know what pepperoni was.

A guy who thinks he’s a legend but can’t even walk into a room without tripping over his own feet.

He came into the room and tripped over his own shoelace like it was a trap.

He tried to do a cool entrance and ended up knocking over a lamp and then said 'That was a distraction.'

He said he was a 'master of disguise' and then forgot what he was wearing.

A guy who thinks he’s a god but can’t even remember what day it is.

He told me he was 'a god among men' and then forgot what day it was and said 'I think it’s Tuesday, but I might be wrong.'

He said he had a 'special power' and it was 'being able to tell the time' and he got it wrong again.

He said he was 'a king' and then asked me if I wanted to be his queen and then forgot what he said five minutes later.