dadshow

'Son, this is how you eat a burger.' (He dipped his fries in ketchup and took a bite of the whole thing.)

'You think you're tough? I once fought a raccoon in the parking lot.' (He was wearing pajama pants.)

He texted me: 'Dadshow is the only thing that matters. Period.' (He also added a photo of his face in a microwave.)

He told me, 'I could beat up your mom's ex.' (He also said he once tried.)

He posted a video of himself doing yoga in a bathrobe. 'This is dadshow.'

He called me at 3 a. m. to tell me about his new pet goldfish. 'It's the most dadshow thing I've ever done.'

He told the whole family, 'I could have been a rockstar if I wanted.' (He also said he once played air guitar in a grocery store.)

He sent me a text: 'I just ate 10 hot dogs. This is dadshow.' (He also said he might vomit.)

He posted a selfie with a banana and said, 'This is dadshow. You know it.' (He also said he once fought a banana.)

He said, 'I once broke a chair just to prove a point.' (He also said he once broke three chairs.)

He texted me, 'I just ate a whole cake. Dadshow is happening.' (He also said he might die.)

He told me, 'I could have been a king if I wanted.' (He also said he once tried to crown himself with a hat.)

He told me, 'I could have been a famous actor. I just didn't want to.' (He also said he once did a commercial for a cereal.)

He posted a video of himself doing a dance in a grocery store. 'This is dadshow.' (He also said he was dancing for a donut.)

He said, 'I'm still cool. I'm just not as cool as I used to be.' (He also said he used to be a rockstar.)