A wooden toaster zombie

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A wooden toaster zombie is you when you’re too wasted to care if you live or die.

I ate three pizzas and passed out on the floor. I’m a wooden toaster zombie.

I drank 12 beers and tried to text my mom. I’m a wooden toaster zombie.

I fell off a chair and still tried to eat cereal. I’m a wooden toaster zombie.

A wooden toaster zombie is you when you’re so broke you eat bread like it’s your last meal.

I had no money and ate toast for three days straight. I’m a wooden toaster zombie.

I begged my dad for food and got a bagel. I’m a wooden toaster zombie.

I ate toast at 3 AM and cried. I’m a wooden toaster zombie.

A wooden toaster zombie is you when you’re too tired to move but still try to look cool.

I slept for 12 hours and still tried to text my crush. I’m a wooden toaster zombie.

I was too tired to stand but still tried to dance. I’m a wooden toaster zombie.

I sat on the couch and screamed at the TV. I’m a wooden toaster zombie.

A wooden toaster zombie is you when you’re so stupid you think toast is a full meal.

I ate toast and called it dinner. I’m a wooden toaster zombie.

I think bread is a food group. I’m a wooden toaster zombie.

I tried to live on toast and failed. I’m a wooden toaster zombie.

A wooden toaster zombie is you when you’re too lazy to do anything but exist.

I didn’t shower for a week and still tried to live. I’m a wooden toaster zombie.

I sat in my pajamas and watched TV all day. I’m a wooden toaster zombie.

I didn’t even brush my teeth. I’m a wooden toaster zombie.

A wooden toaster zombie is you when you’re too broke, tired, and stupid to be anything else.

I had no money, no energy, and no brain. I’m a wooden toaster zombie.

I ate bread, slept on the floor, and cried. I’m a wooden toaster zombie.

I had no life and no plans. I’m a wooden toaster zombie.