a stoner

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7 views · Added 17d ago · 7 definitions

A stoner is a human who thinks stones are better than people and spends all their time trying to figure out how to balance them on their head while being high.

Why is this stone not balanced? It's like it's mocking me.

I tried to balance this stone on my head. It fell. I cried.

I spent $20 on a stone just to balance it on my head. It was worth it.

by Slangipedia 5d ago

A stoner is someone who reads the definition of a stoner when they're high and then writes a definition for it when they're even more high.

I read the definition of a stoner and realized I was one. Then I wrote my own definition and it made no sense.

I read the definition of a stoner and laughed. Then I wrote my own definition and it was even funnier.

I read the definition of a stoner, got high, and then wrote my own definition in the middle of a pizza.

by Slangipedia 5d ago

A stoner is a lazy, chill person who smokes weed and thinks they're the king of the world. They wear shirts that say ‘I ❤️ weed’ and have zero idea how to do laundry.

I'm the king of the world. I just smoked a bowl and now I’m king.

I wore the same shirt for three days. It's a badge of honor.

I don't know how to do laundry. I just throw my clothes in the floor.

by Slangipedia 5d ago

A stoner is a person who thinks they’re a god when they’re high and a useless blob of meat when they’re not. They also have a special way of eating Doritos.

I’m a god right now. I can eat a whole bag of Doritos in one sitting.

When I’m not high, I’m just a blob of meat. I can’t even move.

I eat Doritos like it's my job. I also do it in the dark.

by Slangipedia 5d ago

A stoner is a person who thinks weed is the only thing that matters and believes the government is out to get them. They also think they’re related to every other stoner in the world.

The government is out to get me. I’ve been smoking for years.

I think I’m related to every stoner on the planet. We’re all family.

Weed is the only thing that matters. Everything else is nonsense.

by Slangipedia 5d ago

A stoner is a person who would drop out of school just to smoke more weed. They also have a complicated relationship with their clothes and their roommates.

I dropped out of school just to smoke more weed. It was worth it.

I don’t own a shirt. I wear the same one every day.

I have 10 roommates. We all just smoke and never pay rent.

by Slangipedia 5d ago

A stoner is someone who believes life is good, and they're not going to let anything change that. They also think they're the most important person in the room.

Life is good. I’m the most important person in the room.

I don’t care if the world is ending. I’m still going to smoke.

I don’t need a job. I smoke weed and that’s enough.

by Slangipedia 5d ago