a hippomanimus - A man so big he probably has his own gravity. He’s the kind

A man so big he probably has his own gravity. He’s the kind of man who thinks a midlife crisis is just a fancy word for 'I need more bacon.'

My grandpa is a hippomanimus. He eats so much he might explode and take the whole family with him.

That guy at the mall is a hippomanimus. He tried to go through the revolving door and it almost broke.

My friend’s dad is a hippomanimus. He wears pajamas to work and still thinks he's cool.