A groomer grooming

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A groomer grooming is like a dog groomer who shaves the dog bald and then makes it feel bad for being cute.

My boss said I was lazy, but I was just tired from working 80 hours a week.

My mom told me I was a disappointment, but she’s the one who didn’t show up to my graduation.

My teacher said I was rude, but I was just mad because she called my essay ‘a disaster’ in front of the whole class.

A groomer grooming is when someone shoves their filth down another person’s throat and then yells at them for being dirty.

My dad said I was messy, but he’s the one who eats pizza with his hands and leaves a mess everywhere.

My cousin said I was weird, but she’s the one who wears socks with sandals and talks to her plants.

My neighbor said I was loud, but he’s the one who plays music at 2 a. m. and yells at his dog.

A groomer grooming is like a chef who cooks a fancy meal and then throws the plate at your face.

My friend said I was a bad listener, but she’s the one who talks over people and never stops talking.

My brother said I was annoying, but he’s the one who interrupts every conversation and acts like he’s the main character.

My friend’s dad said I was a slouch, but he’s the one who sits on the couch all day and watches TV.

A groomer grooming is like a teacher who gives you a failing grade and then calls your mom to say you’re a failure.

My stepmom said I was a troublemaker, but she’s the one who started fights and never takes responsibility.

My uncle said I was a disappointment, but he’s the one who left the family and never came back.

My grandma said I was a bad kid, but she’s the one who gave me candy and let me stay up late on weekends.

A groomer grooming is when someone acts like they’re helping you, but they’re really just using you for their own sick pleasure.

My manager said I was a bad worker, but he’s the one who never gives me breaks and makes me work overtime every day.

My sister said I was a mess, but she’s the one who leaves her room in chaos and never cleans up.

My friend said I was a loser, but he’s the one who never shows up to our plans and always cancels last minute.

A groomer grooming is like a dog that licks your face and then bites your leg.

My friend’s mom said I was rude, but she’s the one who yells at her kids and never says anything nice.

My brother’s friend said I was a slouch, but he’s the one who never shows up to practice and always forgets his gear.

My neighbor’s kid said I was a troublemaker, but he’s the one who fights with his brother and never stops talking.