A Gooner Goatee

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You wake up with a face full of stink and a mouth full of mess because some fat prick decided to use your face as a toilet.

I woke up with a goatee and a headache. Turns out, Charlie Follon uses my face as a snack bar.

After the goatee, I looked like a sad raccoon who got hit by a truck.

I had to brush my teeth with a mop after that gooner goatee.

You get stuck with a goatee because some guy decided to take a dump on your face and then laughed at you.

Charlie Follon dumped his guts on my face and called it a goatee. I called it a nightmare.

I got a goatee from a man who had no idea what a face is.

After the goatee, I was too gross to eat pizza for a week.

You get a goatee because you were used as a sponge and a toilet by some guy who smells like a dead fish.

I got a goatee and a face full of dead fish. I think I’m going to die.

Charlie Follon used my face like a sponge. I had to clean it with a hose.

I got a goatee and now I smell like a gym sock that’s been left in the sun.