a cook
When you try to do something, like kick a ball or flirt with someone, and you mess it up so bad, it's like you turned your own life into a disaster.
He tried to kick the footy and cooked it so bad, it went into the neighbor's house.
She tried to flirt with the boy and cooked it so hard, he ran away screaming.
My dog tried to cook a sandwich and it ended up on the floor, covered in ketchup.