a bit crap - A British insult that means something is so bad, it's like y

A British insult that means something is so bad, it's like you got hit with a bag of wet socks.

'That movie was a bit crap. I left halfway through and cried in a bathroom.'

'Your dog's dance moves are a bit crap. It's like watching a sad parade.'

'That essay you wrote was a bit crap. I read it and then read it again just to make sure I wasn't dreaming.'