Paki Patakha
A sweaty, mouthy Paki who shits out Urdu insults, has a penis for a brain, and thinks every Friday is a chance to get laid in the middle of a halal restaurant. He eats naan like it's going out of style and swears by Afghani tea.
'I kissed my uncle’s girlfriend in the middle of the mosque. It was like a holy sin.'
'I had three hookups in the back of the takeaway van. They all said I was the best.'
'I don’t need a job. I just need a girlfriend and my dad’s car.'