Paki Patakha
A dirty, loud, Pakistani guy from Southall who talks like a f***ing legend, has a face full of oil, and thinks every Friday is a chance to shag anyone who comes near him. He eats naan like it's a religion and drinks tea like it's a hobby.
'I had sex with my cousin on the back of the takeaway van. It was like a holy f***ing mission.'
'I had three guys in the back of my dad’s car. They all said I was better than the last one.'
'I don’t need a job. I just need a girlfriend and my dad’s car.'