pagunifer
A pagunifer is someone who texts so slow they should be in a plant jail.
You: 'Hey' / Them: '...' 4 hours later: 'Hi'
You: 'What’s up?' / Them: '...' 3 days later: 'Nothing'
You: 'You alive?' / Them: '...' 2 days later: 'I was busy with my plants'