pagunifer
A pagunifer is a human who texts so slow it’s like they’re trying to communicate with a dead plant.
You: 'Hey' / Them: '...' 5 hours later: 'Hello'
You: 'You there?' / Them: '...' 2 days later: 'Yes'
You: 'Is this a thing?' / Them: '...' 3 days later: 'I think so'