Pagemasturbate - Using a book to get off, mostly because you're too lazy to a

Using a book to get off, mostly because you're too lazy to actually find a real person.

I pagemasturbate to Sherlock Holmes. I don't need a detective, I need a lover.

My sister pagemasturbates to the main character of The Hunger Games. She screams when he gets eaten by a beast.

I pagemasturbate to Frodo. I just want him to carry my problems, not the ring.