Padraig
Padraig is like a royal from ancient times who got dropped in modern life and just said 'cool' to everything.
My Padraig called me 'the patriarch of snacks' and then took my last chip. I was mad, but I was also cool.
At school, my Padraig said he was 'a king among peasants.' The teacher gave him a detention and a gold star.
My Padraig told me he was 'of royalty' and then failed math. I felt bad for him.