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When a woman is wearing a bathing suit or underwear and her pubes are so hairy and puffy it looks like a raccoon got a perm and started a pubic war

My cousin walked into the pool and it looked like a raccoon had exploded in her bathing suit.

She showed up in a swimsuit and I swear her pubes had a life of their own.

I texted her, 'Are you wearing a bathing suit or a hair salon?'

When a woman’s pubes are so full and hairy under her clothes it looks like she’s hiding a tiny goat in there

My mom showed up in her underwear and I thought she was wearing a goat.

She walked in and I thought the goat had escaped from the barn.

She told me, 'I tried to shave, but the goat won.'

When a woman’s pubes are so puffy and hairy it looks like she's got a squirrel in there trying to build a nest

I saw her in the gym and thought a squirrel was trying to move in.

She showed up to work and I asked if the gym had a squirrel problem.

She told me, 'I tried to trim it, but the squirrel had a plan.'