Package Stalker
When you can't stop checking your phone for package updates like it's a damn addiction and you're being paid by the delivery company
I’ve checked my package 17 times today. It’s still sitting in a warehouse. I’m gonna die.
I just got a text from my mom: ‘Why is your package moving?’ I replied: ‘Why is your life not moving?’
I’m not sleeping. I’m waiting for my package to arrive. It’s like a relationship. It’s got to be perfect.