Pack the Musket

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4 views · Added 6d ago · 5 definitions

A doctor shoves a dirty cotton swab up your pecker to check for gunk like gonorrhea, because your life is a mess and you’re too lazy to just get tested.

My doc packed my musket like I was a prisoner of war.

He stuck that swab in so far I thought I was gonna pee on the floor.

I had to pack the musket twice because I had a bacterial infection and a bad attitude.

by Slangipedia 6d ago

Shoving a stick up a guy’s pee hole until it hits the back of his brain, because he’s too stubborn to just take a pill.

The nurse packed my musket like I owed her money.

I felt the stick go all the way up and I screamed like a baby.

He packed my musket so hard I got a nosebleed.

by Slangipedia 6d ago

When you’re too lazy to jerk off, but you still want to feel like you’re getting laid, so you pretend you’re packing a musket instead.

I packed the musket in the bathroom at work like no one was watching.

I did it while my mom was in the next room and she heard me.

I packed the musket on the bus and the kid next to me looked at me like I was crazy.

by Slangipedia 6d ago

When you’re so desperate to poop that you let your friend jam a broomstick up your butt just to make it happen.

My friend packed my musket with a broomstick and I pooped like a baby.

I had to take a dump and my friend was too lazy to help me.

He stuck the broomstick so far up my butt I felt it in my brain.

by Slangipedia 6d ago

When you’re trying to have butt sex, but the other person is so constipated they look like a cow who just ate a brick.

She tried to have butt sex with me and I felt like I was fighting a cow.

He was so constipated I thought he was gonna rip my face off.

We had butt sex and it felt like I was having a wrestling match with a brick.

by Slangipedia 6d ago