octopussarian
An octopussarian is a man who thinks about sex like it’s his second job. He’s got a calendar, a phone, and a stiff drink.
He walked into a coffee shop and said, 'I need a coffee and a date.' The barista said, 'We don’t do dates here.' He said, 'I’ll take a latte.'
He told me he had a date with his doctor. I asked why. He said, 'She said I need more sleep.'
He tried to flirt with my dog again. The dog just stared at him like he was a weird person.