octo

I ate three pizzas and a whole bag of chips. Now I'm doing the octo.

My dog just stared at me like I had no business doing the octo.

My mom said I was doing the octo so hard I was gonna wake up the neighbors.

I told the guy I wanted the BK stacker with 8 patties and he said 'you're gonna need a bigger plate' and I said 'I'm gonna need a bigger life' and he said 'you're gonna need a bigger pants' and I cried.

I ate that burger and now I can't bend over without screaming.

That burger is the reason I have a new nickname: 'the human meat mountain'.

Octomom just posted a picture of her kids and her ex and it's like a family portrait from hell.

She had eight kids and still had time to complain about her life on TikTok.

That woman's life is like a reality show but it's not even scripted.

My octo girlfriend just kicked my ass for saying her wife looked like a raccoon at a funeral.

She told me to shut up or she’d turn me into a pancake and I believed her.

She’s got the body of a goddess, the heart of a warrior, and the patience of a saint, until I said her wife looked like a raccoon.

My octo-neighbor tried to start a fire in my backyard and it was just because he wanted to 'redecorate' the neighborhood.

He told me the fire was a message from the universe and I said 'the universe is giving me a message I don’t want to receive.'

He’s like a mad scientist who thinks your lawn is his lab and he’s ready to experiment.

My octo friend cried when I said he was a pussy and he said 'you’re gonna regret that when you get a second opinion from my wife.'

He ran away from a spider and it was like a full-blown war.

That guy's a pussy so deep it's like he was born in a pussy and he still lives in one.

I played Splatoon 2: Octo and now I’m questioning my life choices.

That DLC is like a nightmare I didn’t know I had.

I would rather take a bullet than play that DLC again.