Obsession Vampire
An obsession vampire is a dirty, brain-eating monster who takes over your thoughts and makes you do stupid stuff. They’re like a bad crush that won’t let you go.
My obsession vampire turned my crush into a full-time job. I think about him 24/7. I even named my cat after him.
She texted me a photo of herself wearing nothing but a sock and a smile. I sent her a photo of my dog. That was the end of our relationship.
He showed up at my house wearing a cape and said, 'I am your obsession vampire, and I have come to claim your soul.' I said, 'You’re not scary, you’re just weird.'