objectum sexual
a person who thinks inanimate objects are the best lay they’ve ever had. they’d rather bang a vending machine than a human.
i got married to my microwave. it’s more loyal than my ex.
i had a one-night stand with a traffic light. it changed colors and i got a hard-on.
my dog asked why i keep staring at the fridge. i said, 'because it’s a sexy appliance, and i’m an objectum sexual.'