objectively attractive - When someone is so hot, even a blind person would get a hard

When someone is so hot, even a blind person would get a hard-on just by smelling them. It’s not just pretty, it’s scientifically proven chaos.

My ex said I was objectively attractive. I told him he was just jealous I didn’t have a second face.

My mom called my brother objectively attractive. He’s still mad she didn’t call him objectively handsome.

My crush said I was objectively attractive. I asked if that meant I could skip gym.