object-oriented masturbation

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when you jerk off your own ego by using fancy code in stupid places just to make everything harder and more bloated.

I added 10 classes for a button that does nothing but look fancy.

Why use inheritance when I can just copy-paste the same code 5 times?

I made a whole framework for a calculator that only adds two numbers.

you rub your own ego raw by forcing object-oriented code into things that don’t need it, making everything messy and hard to fix.

I made a dog class for a single dog in my app. That dog is now the laziest dog ever.

I used a whole inheritance tree for a form that just had three buttons.

I wrote a 200-line class for a pizza that only has cheese.

you take your own ego and beat it with a stick by using object-oriented code where it doesn’t belong, making everything complicated for no reason.

I added a constructor to a simple list. Now it’s a constructor list. It’s a constructor list of lists.

I used polymorphism for a button that only changes color when clicked.

I made a whole hierarchy of objects for a single textbox. It’s like a family feud in a textbox.

you give yourself a ego boner by using object-oriented code everywhere, even when it doesn’t help, and everything turns into a mess.

I made a class for every single word in my app. Now my app is a class of words.

I used a whole interface for a button that only says hello.

I made a constructor for a button that does nothing but blink.

you make your own ego cry by using object-oriented code in stupid places, turning simple things into a nightmare.

I used an abstract class for a single function. That function is now the most abstract function ever.

I added a whole inheritance chain for a form that only had two inputs.

I used a whole object for a single number. That number is now the most object-oriented number ever.