obes

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Obes is just a fancy word for someone who eats like a pig and looks like a couch exploded.

My uncle is obes. He eats a whole pizza by himself and still claims he's not fat.

My friend's dog is obes. It can't fit through the doggy door anymore.

The principal is obes. He wears a suit that looks like it's about to rip.

Obes is like being so fat you can't fit in a airplane seat and you still manage to take up two.

My mom is obes. She eats donuts for breakfast and still says she's fine.

My cousin is obes. He tried to sit in a chair and it broke.

My teacher is obes. She walks like she's carrying a mountain.

Obes is when you're so fat you think you're a superhero, but really you're just a sad human who eats too much.

My brother is obes. He thinks he’s the strongest man alive, but he can’t even lift a bag of groceries.

My neighbor is obes. She eats ice cream for dinner and still says she’s not fat.

My dad is obes. He tried to run a marathon and walked the whole way.

Obes is like being so old you look like you’ve been sitting in a chair for decades and you still don’t know how to use a phone.

My grandpa is obes. He can’t remember his own phone number.

My aunt is obes. She still uses a rotary phone and thinks it’s cool.

My grandma is obes. She can’t even text her grandkids.

Obes is when you own a truck that looks like it was built in the 80s and you still think it’s the best truck ever made.

My cousin has an obes truck. It’s so old it makes a weird noise every time he starts it.

My neighbor has an obes truck. It’s got more rust than a zombie’s bones.

My dad has an obes truck. He still thinks it’s the greatest truck ever made.

Obes is when you talk your way into every situation, even if you’re doing something totally stupid.

My friend is obes. He got out of a ticket by telling the cop he was in a rush to eat a whole pizza.

My cousin is obes. He talked his way out of a fight by saying he was just playing around.

My brother is obes. He got out of detention by telling the teacher he had to go to the bathroom.

Obes is when you’re so cool and bad-ass you can walk into any room and make everyone else feel like they’re the weakest link.

My uncle is obes. He walks into a room and everyone knows he’s the boss.

My friend is obes. He can beat up anyone and still have time for pizza.

My cousin is obes. He’s got more swagger than a street gang.