Oberstober

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A month where everyone forgets about everything else just to worship Robert Oberst, because he’s so jacked it’s almost illegal.

Hey, did you know Oberstober is coming? I might have to take a break from crying about my lack of abs.

I’m getting a tattoo of Robert Oberst’s biceps. It’s gonna hurt, but it’s worth it.

My boss said if I don’t work during Oberstober, I’ll have to wear a shirt that says ‘I have no idea who Robert Oberst is.’

A time when the whole world stops to stare at Robert Oberst like he’s a god, because he’s literally a human meatball.

I got my sister a poster of Robert Oberst for Oberstober. She cried. I don’t know why.

My gym teacher said if we don’t talk about Oberstober, we’ll have to do 100 push-ups.

I tried to text my friend about Oberstober, but my phone just showed a picture of Robert Oberst and said ‘You’re not worthy.’

A month where people get so obsessed with Robert Oberst that they forget how to breathe, eat, or even think.

I skipped school for Oberstober. My teacher said I’d have to write an essay on why Robert Oberst is better than my mom.

I tried to make a cake for Oberstober, but it came out looking like Robert Oberst’s stomach.

My dog started barking at me every time I said ‘Oberstober’ like he was trying to warn me.