Obadyahu
He's like the hot dog of friends, messy, loud, and always there when you need him. He'll laugh at your problems and then make you feel stupid for having them.
He said, 'You're crying over a break-up? I got dumped by three girls at once and I still had time to eat a hot dog.'
He showed up at my house with a hot dog and said, 'You're not sad. You're just hungry.'
He told me, 'You're not broken. You're just a dumbass who got rejected.'