Oanya

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The queen of chaos. She gives love like it's going out of style and laughs while you’re getting yelled at.

My mom just threw a pizza at me because I forgot her birthday. Again.

She called my dad a 'fart-scented donkey' during Thanksgiving. It was glorious.

She told my brother to 'shut up or I'll turn you into a chicken' and he actually believed her.

The reason you're still sane. She's got the patience of a saint and the laugh of a madwoman.

She let me fail my math test because I cried and said I was 'dying inside.'

She laughed so hard when my dog tried to eat my homework that she cried.

She told my dad to 'stop being a loud bag of potatoes' and he shut up for a week.

The woman who makes sense out of nonsense. She’s got love in her heart and a swear word on her tongue.

She told my brother to 'eat my words or I’ll make you eat my shoes' and he actually did it.

She said my dad was 'the worst kind of meatloaf' and he got mad.

She let me stay up till 2 a. m. because I said I was 'dying of boredom.'