Oakridged
A town full of drunk guys and women who look like they haven’t seen a dentist since the dinosaurs. Only seven people in Oakridge are decent, and they’re probably hiding from the rest.
My cousin got married in Oakridge and the DJ played ‘I Will Always Love You’ at 2 AM. I walked out and joined a karaoke battle.
I tried to flirt with a woman at the bar, and she said, ‘I’ve had three husbands and a raccoon. You’re not even close.’
The local bar has a ‘best dancer’ contest every weekend. I watched a man dance like he was fighting a bear.