My neighbor tried to start a peace vigil in the middle of the street. He said, 'We are the voice of the people!' I said, 'You're the voice of the people who are annoying.'

At the park, a guy in a tie-dye shirt tried to sing folk music. He messed up the lyrics and still thinks he’s a rock star.

My cousin moved to Oak Park and now thinks she's a communist. She says, 'We are the revolution!' I said, 'You’re the annoyance.'