O.A.F.S.

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Girls who think your life is a soap opera and they’re the main cast. They yell at you online and show up at your job.

She texted me 20 times in one hour and said I was the villain of her story.

She showed up at my gym and yelled, 'I know what you did last summer!'

She sent a group text to my whole family about my bad haircut.

Women who think your Instagram is a diary and they’re the highlighter. They comment on every post and send you a DM at 2 a. m.

She commented on my pizza photo like it was a masterpiece and said I was her soulmate.

She sent me a DM at 2 a. m. saying she knew I was cheating on her.

She posted a photo of my face with a mustache and called it art.

Girls who think your life is a reality show and they’re the producers. They film you without asking and make you the villain.

She filmed me eating breakfast and posted it with a caption that said, 'He’s so sad he’s eating cereal.'

She turned my friend into a villain just because he didn’t like her shoes.

She sent me a video of my dog eating my sandwich and said I was the worst person ever.

Women who think your life is a horror movie and they’re the ghost. They pop up everywhere and won’t leave you alone.

She showed up at my mom’s house and said she was my long-lost sister.

She sent me a message saying she was following me and she was not joking.

She showed up at my school and told my teacher I was a bad influence.

Girls who think your life is a drama and they’re the main character. They cry in the background and write you a 500-word letter about it.

She cried in the hallway and sent me a letter saying I broke her heart.

She wrote me a letter about how I didn’t text her back fast enough.

She sent me a letter and said I was the villain of her life.