nakila

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The dumbest stoner you’ll ever meet. She’s so stupid, she thinks a potato is a snack and not a vegetable.

Nakila: 'I ate my lunch. It was a sandwich. I didn’t know it was a snack.'

Nakila texted me: 'Why is the sky blue? Because it’s mad at the moon.'

Nakila tried to explain gravity. She said it was 'just the sky being tired.'

A human who thinks weed is a lifestyle, not a drug. She’s so high, she forgets her own name.

Nakila: 'My name is Nakila. Wait, is that my name? I think I named myself.'

Nakila told me she lost her keys. They were in her pocket. She just forgot her pocket was a place.

Nakila tried to answer a question. She said, 'I don’t know. Maybe I know. Maybe I don’t.'

The most brain-dead person you’ve ever met. She’s so dumb, she thinks the sun is a giant lightbulb.

Nakila: 'The sun is a lightbulb. It’s on all day. I think it’s broken sometimes.'

Nakila tried to explain why the moon glows. 'It’s because it’s got a flashlight.'

Nakila told me she got lost. She didn’t know the street name. She said it was 'a mystery.'

A human who talks to the sky and thinks it’s a friend. She’s so high, she can’t tell the difference between a cloud and a cow.

Nakila: 'The sky said hi. I said hi back. Then it got quiet.'

Nakila told me she saw a cow in the sky. It was 'a cloud that looked like a cow.'

Nakila tried to count to ten. She got to six and said, 'I think I’m tired.'

The most useless person in the world. She’s so stupid, she thinks a soda is a type of coffee.

Nakila: 'I drank my soda. I thought it was coffee. I don’t know why I thought that.'

Nakila tried to explain why she was late. 'I got distracted by a soda. It was a coffee.'

Nakila told me she drank coffee for breakfast. It was actually a soda. She didn’t know the difference.

A human who thinks the Earth is flat and also a pizza. She’s so stupid, she can’t even spell her own name.

Nakila: 'The Earth is flat. I saw it. It’s also a pizza. I think it’s got cheese on it.'

Nakila tried to write her name. It looked like 'Nakila' but she spelled it 'Nakila' with a 'z' instead of an 's' and a 'q' instead of an 'k.'

Nakila told me she got a pizza for lunch. It was actually the Earth. She didn’t know the difference.